Betty ford says i'm here all night
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
