i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
