Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
