Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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