Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
