How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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