It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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