so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
