I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
