this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
