So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
