people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Randomize
