I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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