The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
