I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
