I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
