i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
