dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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