Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She said her name was "party"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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