I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
