she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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