Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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