what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
