There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boobs speak an international language.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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