yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
