come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
