I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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