His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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