I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
