This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
