They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
