I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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