Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
