needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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