Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
