well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my god I love twenty year old dicks
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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