Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
