Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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