Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
