it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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