he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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