i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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