Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
