I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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