erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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