DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
