No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
