Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
