I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
