I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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